“A zio Alfredo, testimone dell’orrore”
Camminava lento risalendo l’erta sterrata, una logora e sporca giubba grigioverde lo copriva appena, le persone che lo incrociavano non potevano fare a meno di guardarlo, di osservare la sua fatica. Una fatica non da lavoratore, quella si riconosce subito perché è portatrice di una soddisfazione che balugina dagli occhi, una stanchezza più profonda si trascinava dietro, a falcate regolari, trainandola come un mulo da soma. Erano anni che non percorreva quelle strade, che non vedeva quei volti, l’odore del suo paese, il colore della sua gente, i fischi dei pastori lo raggiungevano da lontano e lui roteava lentamente il capo, in direzione dell’eco che quelle montagne generavano. L’enorme cassa armonica dei monti fu la prima a riabbracciarlo. La salita stava finendo e Alfredo camminava con le braccia lungo i fianchi, penzolavano come se fossero rotte, gli occhi bassi guardavano un metro avanti le scarpe, tagliate e rese come sandali. In fondo alla strada sulla destra la fonte era piena di donne, intente a fare il bucato, le vedeva strofinare forte come facevano un tempo prima della guerra, si avvicinava e intanto le donne indaffarate si distraevano gettando occhiate curiose verso di lui, quando fu vicino al gruppo la più anziana lo riconobbe e gli caddero sui piedi, i panni che teneva in mano. Non disse nulla ma quello era un evento, poiché non furono molti i paesani che tornarono dalla guerra e il nome di Alfredo figurava tra i dispersi già da due anni. Se le lasciò alle spalle e senza guardarle tirò dritto. Verso il centro del paese si ricordò di aver visto piantare un pino nel 1939 sotto l’amministrazione del podestà, ed ecco che era cresciuto, ora svettava maestoso più alto delle piccole magioni in sasso, fra la chiesa e la casa dello zio Mario, sopravvissuto della prima guerra mondiale (un ragazzo del 1899) e amputato alle dita dei piedi, congelate in trincea. Il vecchio Mario si sporse dalla ringhiera, con la mano destra sugli occhi per meglio mettere a fuoco la sagoma che gli si profilava davanti, gridò : “ E’ tornato!…E’ tornato! Alfredo è tornato! Improvvisamente il paese ebbe un sussulto, la madre non aveva sentito era impegnata al forno ma la voce si sparse subito, lungo le strade si sentiva bisbigliare : “Un reduce! Un reduce !…chi è, come avrà fatto! Ormai non ci speravamo più...le porte si aprivano e chiudevano senza posa, in un attimo la piazza si riempì di gente curiosa. Alfredo sembrava disinteressato, e quello per lui era solo rumore che si aggiungeva ai tanti sopportati durante il conflitto. Le persone ormai lo vedevano, ma lui non guardava la folla che lo acclamava come un eroe e da lontano gli rivolgevano domande sulla sua esperienza. Si avvicinò alla porta di casa, non c’era nessuno, la madre era al forno i fratelli in campagna, richiuse l’uscio dietro di se e alla folla che lo acclamava, affacciandosi alla finestra, disse : “Sono stanco…molto stanco, lasciatemi riposare”. Quelle parole restarono sospese in aria per qualche secondo, poi la folla si dileguò rispettosa. Da una strada secondaria i passi di una persona in corsa riecheggiavano fra le pareti della piazza vuota, era la signora Candida che tornava dal forno, si mise a correre subito, appena ricevuta la notizia del ritorno di suo figlio. Non ci sperava più ormai, l’ultima lettera di Alfredo la ricevette nel 1941, lettera che la informava della sua partenza per il fronte russo. Dal fronte russo giungevano notizie ogni giorno più sconfortanti, la stoica resistenza dell’armata rossa , il terribile inverno che si avvicinava, lo stillicidio dei caduti italiani nella disastrosa ritirata. Tutto questo fece pensare a Candida che suo figlio fosse morto nella steppa gelata e invece no, Alfredo era tornato e lei voleva riabbracciarlo. Affannata arrivò ai piedi delle scale della sua abitazione e una forte agitazione si impadronì del suo corpo. Ogni gradino che saliva era un tremore fin sulla soglia, quando spinse la porta socchiusa e vide suo figlio Alfredo, seduto al tavolo con un bicchiere vuoto davanti, così sporco e logoro e stanco come era, disse con tono velato e calmo: “ Ciao mamma…come stai ! Candida non sapeva se ridere o piangere, ma vedendo suo figlio spossato, sì , ma sereno e vivo si tranquillizzò: “Figlio mio sei tornato Dio sia ringraziato, perché non mi hai fatto avere tue notizie, non una lettera ho più ricevuto dal ‘ 41, siamo stati tanto in pena io, tuo padre e i tuoi fratelli”. Alfredo ascoltò la madre guardando un punto fisso davanti a sé, poi proruppe: “Mamma io ho fatto la guerra, e dove sono stato bisognava badare al sodo, a combattere e a salvare la pelle prima di scrivere a casa. Io sono stato fortunato a tornare, non c’è altra spiegazione… come abbia potuto evitare una pallottola, una cannonata, una scheggia non so, soldati ben più forti e preparati di me sono morti crivellati o sventrati da una mina. Fortuna, solo fortuna se non sono morto assiderato in Russia nell’infernale ritirata, là dove se non arrivava il piombo ci pensava il gelo ad uccidere. Non potete capire, o meglio non avete gli strumenti per comprenderlo, cosa significa per un ragazzo poco più che ventenne veder morire i propri compagni, uno alla volta sotto i propri occhi, essere sporcati dal loro sangue, sentirne l’odore per giorni e le grida strazianti, di soldati come me, ancora vivi ma orrendamente mutilati. E dall’alto i comandanti gettano ordini su di noi, mentre non riusciamo a stare in piedi, mal equipaggiati contro i rigori del freddo, in balia di un nemico più forte che ci bracca indefesso. Non ho mai combattuto in prima linea, anche questo è avvenuto per caso, in prima linea lo scontro lo avverti prima dei colpi di mortaio…Un mio caro amico c’è stato, per poi tornare nelle retrovie ferito gravemente e nonostante le numerose pallottole conficcate nel corpo mi diceva di non sentire dolore, solo un lieve ottundimento delle percezioni…poi tepore, serenità, luce…morì tra le mie braccia e aveva ventitré anni. Alle volte mi capita di sognarlo, siamo entrambi ancora in divisa, quella dell’esercito, puliti e sorridenti ma improvvisamente il sogno diventa un incubo, comincia a piovere e Domenico si allontana e mi saluta dicendomi: “Continua a vivere anche per me, tienimi con te, io ci sarò se guarderai in alto, non mi dimenticare”. Ma è solo un sogno e mi domando perché lui e non me…Sai lui era un ragazzo colto, leggeva molto e sempre prima di dormire. Una sera eravamo stanchi e feriti, la giornata era stata dura e tanti commilitoni erano morti e allora cominciò a raccontare delle storie bellissime, io ne ero affascinato anche se disturbato dalla nottata di guardia che avrei dovuto sostenere, lui mi disse: “Alfredo c’è una cosa che puoi fare mentre sarai impegnato con la guardia, potrai percepire le sette albe che sono presenti in una notte sola, ci siamo sempre illusi che ci fosse una sola alba e invece ce ne sono sette, come le meraviglie del mondo, come le note musicali e i colori, basta saperle riconoscere”. E come!, da che cosa le posso riconoscere?, dissi io con sorpresa…“Le riconoscerai dall’odore, dai segni e dai suoni della natura”. Da allora non ebbi più timore dei turni di guardia notturni, anzi li aspettavo quasi con trepidazione, per comunicare con la natura. Avere Domenico come amico significava sopportare meglio l’orrore, e pensare che a uomini dall’anima nobile come lui si contrappongono esseri malvagi che mandano a morire altri uomini. In fondo la guerra è questo mamma, soldati e civili che muoiono, da una parte e dall’altra spesso senza conoscerne le ragioni. E ne muoiono a migliaia, a milioni sotto il comando di altri uomini infervorati da chissà quale visione della realtà e del mondo. La guerra è l’estrema propaggine del male, ed io l’ho visto…il male, era con me quando uccidevo per non essere ucciso…Ho tolto la vita a tanti ragazzi miei coetanei, anche loro avevano dei sogni da realizzare, persone che amavano e dalle quali erano riamati. Ma io…io ho impedito loro di tornare a casa e quei nomi ora sono scolpiti su una lapide. Molte donne non sono state fortunate come te mamma, uno stuolo di madri, ora in questo momento non parlano con il proprio figlio, ma guardano un nome scolpito sul marmo, ed è tutto quello che gli resta. Ho camminato accanto alla storia in questi sette anni, sono il minuscolo tassello di un evento tragico che tanto caro è costato al mondo. Ho un ricordo infantile di Dio…durante la guerra, nei momenti più disperati, mi è capitato di pensare all’Altissimo, ho persino pregato come tu mi hai insegnato mamma, ma niente, non è valso a nulla. Tutti i miei amici sono morti…dove fosse Dio in quei momenti non l’ho mai saputo, quando i suoi figli si trucidavano a vicenda per mondane ragioni, dov’era colui che può tutto…ho pensato che la sua onnipotenza fosse un’invenzione, che Egli fosse un’invenzione. Che discorso blasfemo stai ascoltando! Probabilmente Dio trascende l’umana comprensione e conosce ragioni che la ragione e i sensi degli uomini non percepiscono…Perdonami mamma sono stanco ora…molto stanco. Candida ascoltò suo figlio senza interrompere, sino alla fine con le lacrime agli occhi. Il silenzio durò diversi minuti poi una frase buttata là lo ruppe : “Desideri qualcosa Alfredo?” “Sì, riposare su un letto vero, sono mesi che cammino e dormo all’addiaccio”. Alfredo si levò e con fatica andò verso quella che era la sua camera da letto, entrò e richiuse alle sue spalle la porta cigolante. Si addormentò subito cullato dal brusio della pioggia leggera che bagnava il davanzale.
Pubblicazioni
24-01-2014 sul portale di informazione, attualità e cultura www.ukizero.com
Inserito nella raccolta di racconti Selenophilia edita da Alter Erebus nel dicembre 2019 pag. 59/67
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